Moving an elderly loved one into a nursing home can be emotionally and financially overwhelming. As with any other difficult life task, there is someone who will always be there for you: your spouse. To make sure you get through this difficult time effectively, working as a team with your spouse, and making sure they feel heard, becomes incredibly important.
For those who have never moved someone into a nursing home before, however, it’s easy to feel as though you have no idea where to start. To ensure you can tackle this important task with your spouse effectively, here is a useful guide for spouse communication when putting a loved one into a nursing home in California:
Avoid Procrastination
One of the worst mistakes you can make when moving an elderly loved one into a nursing home is failing to communicate with your spouse about the decision. By procrastinating this important step, you will make them feel unappreciated and will put yourself at greater risk of overlooking important details of your elderly loved one’s transition.
In addition to your spouse, make sure other family members, and your elderly loved one’s close friends, are aware of this change as well. Doing so will ensure they can pay them a visit in the nursing home later on, once the transition has been completed smoothly.
Have a Heart-to-Heart with Your Spouse
Holding back feelings about the transition in your elderly loved one’s life from your spouse is a risky choice. Not only will it almost certainly create problems in your relationship later on, but it will put extra, avoidable stress on your elderly loved one as they begin to pick up on how their transition into a nursing home is affecting your relationship.
Remember, communication is important for everyone in the family, not just you. The transition process ahead will be stressful at times, even if you give your best effort to every step, so having your spouse in your corner (and vice-versa) is critical. Taking care of your partner during this process will be just as important as taking care of yourself.
You Must Each Communicate Your Concerns
Both you and your spouse should make a concerted effort to communicate any concerns you have about the plans to put your elderly loved one into a nursing home. Without a set time to communicate these concerns set down, it can be easy to forget them or simply pass over them.
You should do this step before getting too deep into the nursing home selection process if at all possible. Doing so will make you feel more prepared for determining which nursing home has the right features, cost points, and more that will be perfect for your loved one’s needs.
One huge consideration is the growing number of elder abuse claims. If you are moving your loved one from one nursing home to another because they have been negleicted or abused, this will amplify the stress level of everyone involved. According to a California neglect and abuse attorney, “Most victims of elder abuse tend to be female.”. While it is important to research the legal history of all nursing homes, it is particularly important if your loved one is female.
Talk with Your Elderly Loved One One-on-One
While your spouse is incredibly important to take care of during this transition, there’s one person whose needs must come before everyone else: your elderly loved one. Both you and your spouse should have a one-on-one conversation and heart-to-heart with your spouse to ensure they feel properly prepared for the journey ahead. Doing so will allow you to make sure you’re looking for the qualities they desire within a nursing home as well, so always take this crucial step seriously.
Focus on Teamwork
The larger process of getting your elderly loved one into a Californian nursing home can be much more overwhelming than you might expect. To get the process done at a brisk pace, and to ensure you do not overlook crucial details, you need to focus on working with your spouse as a team. Try splitting up different research, legal, and personal tasks that are involved with the search for the perfect nursing home.
If one of you is more legally literate, you should task yourself with going over potential nursing home contracts with an attorney, so that your elderly loved one will feel legally protected as they adjust to their new home.
Vent When Needed, and Everything Will Work Out
Every step of putting your loved one into a quality nursing home will not go smoothly. Be prepared to vent (in a healthy fashion) to your spouse when needed to keep the process moving.
Remember, you and your spouse are a team, and without the right team-centric mindset, it will take much longer to safely and comfortably get your elderly loved one into a nursing home that meets both their needs and their standards.
